In previous blogs, it has been written the number 1 and 2 swear words couples on each other are the words “YOU” and “WHY.”
In this blog I’d like to talk about the 3rd biggest swear word that couples’ and families use on each other which happen to be a whole bunch of miscellaneous swear words couples use on each other that create closed, defensive conversation, rather than open ended non-judgmental communication.
So here are a few swear word considerations that at first glance might not seem like a big deal, however, when used in conversations where there is conflict, these words can often end up in arguments.
Always, Never, Every time
What’s interesting about these words is they are often preceded by the first and second most used sears couples say to each other when in conflict.
For example:
You Always say it’s my fault.
Why do You Never listen to what I’m saying?
Every time I say something You don’t take me seriously. Why is that?
When using words such as “Always, Never, Every time” are used in a conversation they can literally inject next level defensiveness in your partner causing them to react right back and start reacting in a negative way using words like a mirror that can cause both partners now to become super defensive and argue and argue, going round and round fighting to the point they sometimes don’t ever remember what they were arguing about to begin with.
The other challenge with these swear words is they create close ended conversations that if the other person does not react in a negative way, it may also shut any room to have a decent conversation.
Open communication allows a couple to keep the line of communication going, even if it’s a difficult conversation needing to be had, and allow both parties to be heard and sometimes even feel validated in what’s being spoken, in order to get to a place in the conversation where everyone can work towards being on the same page and enjoying each other’s company and not driving each other crazy.
Communication is still a very large key in developing and maintaining relationships, however, if this article is being read and the thoughts of “wow, this is so us in our relationship” are occurring, it might be time to consider couples counselling Calgary and get the communication support needed to allow your relationship to begin walking in New Life.
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Jeremiah La Follette (RPC, MPCC) is a Registered Professional Counsellor and Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling who has a passion for providing positive results by restoring individual wholeness and healthy relationships.
For more information go to New Life Counselling or call 403-690-8617 for a free 15 minute consult. To set up in-person or online counselling (telehealth) (CLICK HERE).
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