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Sometimes a topic around an area you are passionate about might come up in conversation. Maybe it’s a favorite boy band, a B-Movie, some abstract art or beatnik poetry that deep down in your core you absolutely love and you know everyone completely detests. Just because you know not everyone may like what you like can still be difficult to emotionally deal with. Especially when someone, like a friend or partner, unassumingly or purposely criticizes or challenges you in something you are passionate about and you find yourself suddenly losing your happiness very quickly.

In thinking about the quote “If it makes you happy, no one else’s opinion should matter” I was thinking about how some researchers that specialize in dealing with emotions do not consider happiness a primary emotion. Rather, happiness is a secondary emotion that can be like a feather and float all around. In other words, one moment you’re happy and the next moment you’re not. It’s not that I have anything against being happy as I like to be happy as much as the next person. I’m just suggesting that based on research by authors such as Dr. Susan Johnson that our pursuit of happiness might be better spent looking at the primary emotion known as JOY. Now I like the primary emotion called JOY because it’s something that is harder to float away and disappear. Bad stuff can be happening all around me and my happiness may have floated away (especially when the haters hate what is truly pure art), however, if I have cultivated JOY in my life, My core inner being can withstand much of the negative pressures of life, including someone else’s opinion.

If you’re finding your happiness and primary root emotion of Joy has been missing for quite a while, it might be time to consider seeking out a qualified therapist that can help support rebuilding your JOY and eventually feel happy once again…no matter what anyone thinks or says about what makes you happy….even if it’s polka dancing.