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Whether it’s your birthday or a traditional holiday celebration like Christmas, we all like to get gifts.

Whatever season you are in, I would like to encourage you to consider giving the present of being present with your loved ones.

Let’s take a look at some ways in which you can learn how to be more available and present in your relationships.

Have you ever tried to get your partners attention and even though they said they were listening it turned out they really weren’t? How about trying to call your spouse and after paying your cell phone bill you still can’t get a hold of your partner? Or, how about that last argument where you attempted to get the other person to understand where you were coming from and instead the other person was only focused on their needs. If any of these situations have happened to you, or you bravely recognize you are the one doing this to your partner then know you are not alone in the struggle of giving the valued present of your undivided presence

One of the best habits a couple or family can begin to practice and cultivate is the power of being present towards one another. No one likes to be ignored and when your loved one is trying to get your attention and the other partner is not paying attention it’s pretty hard to feel heard and validated. Susan Johnson has a great acronym known as A.R.E. You Available?

A stands for Accessibility (Can I reach you?) R stands for Responsiveness (Interacting Emotionally) and E stands for Engagement (Being Valued).

Accessibility is just like trying to get a hold of your loved one by cell phone and not being able to get a hold of them. Maybe fine once in awhile as everyone can get busy during the day, however, in an emergency like getting a flat tire on Crowfoot and not being able to get a hold of your emergency contact the after discussion can certainly have the potential to become very heated.

Responsiveness is all about interacting with your partner, friends, family and children emotionally. This is where many partners get frustrated at there partner when trying to communicate something. Just because you’re in the same room with someone doesn’t mean the person, you’re trying to communicate with is emotionally present in the room. So, the secret key to this if you are the person being talked to and not paying attention is to turn towards whoever is talking to you and looking in their eyes and not just be in the room, be completely emotionally present and in the room.

Engagement is recognizing that because your listening doesn’t mean that’s where it stops. Engagement is conversation that is intended to healthily go back and forth with each party listening to each other, hearing each other and understanding each other (even if they disagree with each other.)

By learning to become fully available in your relationships you can give the present of your full engaged presence and take all of your valued relationships to a whole new positive level.