Here are some tips to improve communication with your spouse:
Be an active listener: When your spouse is speaking, actively listen to what they are saying without interrupting or becoming defensive. Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their perspective.
Use “I” statements: Instead of using accusatory language or placing blame, use “I” statements to express how you feel. For example, “I feel hurt when I hear words such as…” rather than “You always say X.”
Avoid negative communication patterns: Negative communication patterns like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling can damage a relationship. Try to avoid these patterns and instead focus on respectful communication.
Take responsibility for your emotions: Recognize and take responsibility for your own emotions. Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind or know what you’re feeling without you expressing it.
Schedule dedicated communication time: Set aside time to communicate with your spouse, without distractions. This could be a weekly check-in or a daily debrief of how your day went.
Express appreciation and gratitude: Make an effort to express appreciation and gratitude towards your spouse for the things they do, no matter how small.
Use technology wisely: While technology can be helpful for staying connected, it can also be a distraction. Set boundaries around the use of technology in your relationship.
Remember, communication is a two-way street. Improving communication with your spouse requires effort and a willingness to listen and understand each other’s perspectives. By practicing active listening, using “I” statements, avoiding negative communication patterns, taking responsibility for your emotions, scheduling dedicated communication time, expressing appreciation and gratitude, and using technology wisely, you can improve communication and build a stronger relationship with your spouse.
If you are struggling to communicate with your partner or need support in the application of communication with your partner it might be time to seek out a qualified counselling therapist, clinical counsellor, or psychotherapist and begin to communicate New Life.
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Lindsey McCallum (CCC) is a Canadian Certified Counsellor and Jeremiah La Follette (RPC, MPCC) is a Registered Professional Counsellor and Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling who both have a passion for providing positive results by restoring healthy relationships and individual wholeness.
For more information go to New Life Counselling or call 403-690-8617 for a free 15 minute consult. To set up in-person or online counselling (telehealth) (CLICK HERE).
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