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Marriage can be sometimes difficult to navigate through. Let’s face it, in 6,000 to 10,000 years of recorded history there has never been an official manual that supports marriage to maintain healthy relationships. However, in the last 50 years, there have been fantastic developments in marriage counselling Calgary that could be the difference between discussion on considering separation to the terrible loss of divorce.

Let’s take a brief step-by-step guide to maintaining healthy relationships.

Marriage Counselling Calgary guide to guide to maintaining healthy relationships Step 1: Discover your partner’s level of commitment.

Knowing your partner’s level of commitment is an important step in deciding how far you are willing to go in the marriage. Be careful not to assume that just because they aren’t doing what you want them to do in marriage, they aren’t serious about the marriage and may be just as lost in what next steps to take. 

Marriage Counselling Calgary guide to guide to maintaining healthy relationships Step 2: Discover your and your partner’s dance.

Every couple has a dance that can lead a couple to smooth passionate moves in marriage or a marriage with annoying music being played in the background (Kind of like Polka music) that can heat up an argument to the point to where you don’t even remember what you were fighting about. Often, the arguments are based from out of control emotions and desired needs and wants that aren’t being met and will continue to not be met due the conflict both parties are in.

Marriage Counselling Calgary guide to guide to maintaining healthy relationships Step 3: Get to the root issue.

Getting to the root issue can be easier said than done because we often are trying to get our needs and wants met. However, beyond needs and wants are root issues of the relationship that need to be uncovered to help bring healing and repair to marriage.

One of the ways to get to the root issues of the marriage are to utilize primary emotions in your communication with each other and using what are known as “I statements.” The challenge here is that not everyone is in touch with their emotions and even if someone is in tune with their emotions this doesn’t mean they know how to communicate them to their partner in a healthy and safe way.

Marriage Counselling Calgary guide to guide to maintaining healthy relationships Step 4: Consider Counselling

Having steps is great to give hope in maintaining a strong marriage or a healthy relationship. However, to implement the various steps to a healthy and long-lasting marriage it can help to have a neutral 3rd party to support you and your partner in recognizing your partner really does want the relationship to work out, figure out what the dance looks like, getting to the root issues which is easier to do in a safe environment, learning how to communicate healthily, and begin to feel safe again around your partner.

Marriage Counselling Calgary guide to guide to maintaining healthy relationships Step 5: Apply what is developed in counselling.

If a decision to go to couples counseling is made consider not just meeting the therapist and waiting until the next session to continue on with your work. Intentionally make time to practice and implement what you are learning or demonstrating in session. This will help you both reinforce the good things in your relationship and bring out the next topic of discussion if a mistake is made or something is said that puts you on the path to that annoying polka dance.

Obviously, there are many more steps to consider implementing in your marriage, however, hopeful this guide will give you a starting point for consideration and also possibly provide hope that your relationship can be amazing.

If you are finding your relationship or marriage is more challenging than you realized or you just need some individual or couple support to get to the next step and begin to maintain a healthy relationship; it may be time to seek out a qualified counselling therapist, clinical counsellor, or psychotherapist and begin to walk in New Life.