Blog

There’s nothing more potentially “toxic” than the biblical account of a group of individuals known as the 4 Horsemen. These four horsemen are known as conquest, war, famine, and death. Pretty sure these are horsemen you would not want to be in a relationship with.

Utilizing these very descriptive characters, the therapists and researchers known as Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottmann developed 4 negative relationship styles that research has indicated if found in a relationship and not dealt with can lead to clear signs of divorce and/or the dissolving of a relationship.

The 4 relational horsemen behaviours are 1. Criticism (attacking your partner’s character) 2. Contempt (attitude of superiority) 3. Defensiveness (deflecting blame or making excuses) 4. Stonewalling (The dreaded silent treatment and avoiding conflict).

Below is a link to our resource page where you can find a video interview with Dr. John Gottman talking about the relational 4 horsemen.    

https://newlifecounselling.life/resources-for-depression-therapy-calgary

If you or your partner are recognizing the 4 horsemen in your relationship, the good news is there is hope for the relationship if both partners want to make the relationship work. However, it may be time to seek out a qualified counselling therapist, clinical counsellor, or psychotherapist and begin to learn new relationship skills and begin to walk in New Life.