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Once in a while, I will get calls about a parenting support program called Triple P. Triple P is a program that was developed in Australia and for some parenting situations, it works incredibly. However, as I always remind parents, including myself, there is no official manual on how to raise kids and there are also other great parenting programs out there, such as “Circles of Security.”

Let’s take a look at some basic Parenting 101 skills for consideration in your approach to parenting.

Therapist Calgary Parenting 101 step #1: Begin with Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting is a common 1^st step in learning how to parent more effectively. The term was coined and popularized with the Australian Positive Parenting Program (Triple P).

In essence, Positive Parenting is simply catching your child doing good, rather than always catching your child doing bad.

However, this can be easier said than done, especially if we are dealing with challenging behaviors.

One of the strategies of Positive Parenting I would like to focus on is a concept called Positive Praise. When we provide positive praise it allows us to praise our child for catching them doing good. The key to positive praise is we only focus on the positive and not end a sentence with a negative. An example of this is “Jonny, that was so amazing you put the toys away without mommy asking you to.” Unfortunately, our sentences sometimes end up like this….Jonny, that was so amazing you put the toys away without mommy asking you to; So much better than last week when you threw a tantrum and mommy had to take your toys away.

You see, when we add a negative just after our positive it completely cancels out the positive praise and you might as well have not said anything….Keep it positive and stop saying anything else after your positive praise.

Therapist Calgary Parenting 101 step #2: Get Extra Parenting Education. 

As mentioned at the beginning of this blog, there are many parent supports in place and one parenting course called Triple P Parenting is available and provided online for free by the Alberta Government.

For parent(s) interested in taking the free Alberta Triple P online program just CLICK HERE

Therapist Calgary Parenting 101 step #3: Recognize your Strengths and Weaknesses as a Parent

Many parents come into the office, not on the same page about parenting and how to parent their child. This can create confusion, frustration, and tension between parents or single parents who are relying on extra support like a parent/friend.

One way to begin dealing with these differences is to look at your possible style of parenting. Quite often (not always) one parent will have more of an authoritarian approach (This is how we do things around here) and the other parent will have more of a laid-back approach (Oh it’s okay, it’s probably just a phase the child is going through).

Recognizing our parental style differences is a great way to figure out how to begin getting on the same page of parenting and create dialogue and openness to seeing the other person’s viewpoint. Seeing the other person’s viewpoint can allow the possibility of finding common ground with each other in parenting allowing the child to have healthy supportive parenting that is agreed upon and be on the same page allowing consistency in a child’s life.

Therapist Calgary Parenting 101 step #4: Create a safe and secure environment for your child.

To create a safe and secure environment for your child one of the best ways to do so is to be the most secure person you can be. This also includes your relationships with your partner or support network. If you are insecure yourself or the relationships you are in are insecure this will sadly project onto your children causing them to sometimes feel insecure which is where some, not all, negative behaviors can begin to manifest.

By being the most secure and whole person you can be and also having and demonstrating secure relationships with your children; your children will have a sense of security allowing them to feel safe and secure in their inner world.

If you or a family member is still experiencing family challenges, needing some extra support in applying parenting strategies, or just not being able to provide a secure environment because the relationship you are in is not going well, it might be time to seek out a qualified counselling therapist, clinical counsellor, or psychotherapist and begin to walk in New Life.