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Dealing with Social Media and the Consequences of Social Anxiety

Around 2 months ago of this writing, an email request came to New Life Counselling Calgary NW from a student from the University of Alberta in Edmonton. The student asked if they could ask questions by video internet for their thesis regarding social media and the possible effects of social anxiety. Out of the conversation regarding social anxiety and media, a play on words came out accidentally when attempting to explain how iPhones and social media have been observed to create isolation and increased anxiety in both young and old alike. Out of explaining that concept came the made-up word iMobile. What was trying to be said was the word immobility, however, iMobile came out instead which ironically better described the present-day negative consequences of social media and being on it all the time.

Let’s take a look at how increased social media can possibly be creating increased social anxiety.

1. Isolation

One of the biggest observed outcomes in Calgary Media as a whole is the increased rate of unhealthy isolation that can occur. Even when at the movies, social etiquette dictates you don’t talk while watching movies. What this means is that although you might be physically present, you’re not emotionally engaged or available to those around you, and vice versa. Social media, computer games can be entertaining and fun, however, they can also consume an individuals life to the point that 1 to 5 hours can pass by and before you know it you’ve become an isolated zombie with a never ending desire to consume as much media as possible all in the name of personal gratification. Where there is unhealthy isolation, there is growing loneliness and the increased potential to not have healthy and safe real-life relationships.

2. Secondary Relationships vs. Real-Life Relationships

In 1968, author Arthur C. Clarke wrote 2001 A Space Odyssey where as a futurist he foretold of a time where people would communicate with there loved ones not by telephone anymore. Rather, people would see each other what looked like television screens and not paying long distance charges. Since then, this has truly come to pass with the development of technology and available free services online allowing us to communicate to each other for free (well, except for the cost of your phone/device/computer). What’s interesting and what was not foreseen was how many people opt out for texting over face to face communication which results in what I like to call secondary relationships. Secondary relationships are like secondary and primary emotions. Joy is considered to be a primary emotion due to people demonstrating that in tough times they joy deeper than their present circumstances.  Happiness, however, is a secondary emotion and can change very quickly depending on moment to moment circumstances, good or bad. Joy, like real-life relationships is absolutely necessary for healthy connection in today’s busy life.   

Another concern of secondary relationships is it is not always known if who you are interacting with online are a Safe person to be around. Sure, they may be trendy and cool today, however, there’s no way to truly know who they are when no one is looking, unless you are developing a real-life relationship. Even secondary conversations through social media are no comparison to sitting down for coffee with a friend or lover to build healthy and whole relationships.

Real life relationships require vulnerability that in this day and age seem to be few and far between due to not really needing to be vulnerable on line or even actively engage in conversation through social media. Rather, it’s easier to just sit and watch what everyone else is doing and not do anything for fear of social media rejection or what can lead to cyber bullying.

3. Social Anxiety

Social anxiety can be the result of many things. However, the most recent cause in people developing social anxiety appears to be strongly linked to Social media. Social Anxiety, sometimes observed and known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is not new. What is new is the rapid rate of increase that appears to be increasing in society and all around the world. It’s just far easier to send a text/e-mail than to risk the person on the other end of the line to answer and having to engage in talking with someone. It’s easier to fall into the trap that I have so many friends only to feel the emotional impact of posting online and no one hitting the like button. Or worse yet, a crisis in your life occurs and all of your online buddies are no where to be found in order to be there physically in your time of need to emotionally support you.

4. Dealing with social median and social anxiety

There are no easy answers to this question, however, I would like to suggest that the problem of social media resulting in social anxiety is not a new one. It’s actually been around for quite a long time in the form of movies and television. The primary difference is that social media is so individualistically accessible unlike the good ol’ days where the average family had one television (if it was even a color tv). Learning from the past, we need to establish healthy boundaries for ourselves and our children of tomorrow.

1. Have a set time limit as to how long you are on social media.
2. Have regular time of real-life human interaction without entertainment or social media.
3. Have a time that you turn off social media.
4. Absolutely no social media during meal times.
5. Be present when someone needs to talk to you.
6. Practice what you preach. Don’t expect these suggestions to work for your children if you’re not willing to actively demonstrate healthy social media boundaries.

Social anxiety has been observed to be on the increase in both young and old alike. Without healthy guidance from family, friends, professionals and even ongoing consideration for increased legislation regarding areas of social media that are out of control with adult content way to easily accessible to our children social media appears to be on the verge of replacing human contact which will only increase the likelihood of having to deal with social anxiety.

If your reading this article and you’re thinking, “hmmmmm, I think this blog is about me” then I want to encourage you to consider contacting a professional counsellor in order begin being able to develop healthy and social interactions with those around you without having to feel social anxious. There is always hope for NEW LIFE.