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There’s an old saying by Ben Franklin where he states “In this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” I’ve often wondered if there was a 3^rd ‘certainty’ and what could that possibly be? Well, I used to think that the 3^rd certainty must certainly be Christmas, however, with the cancelation (of those who celebrate) of what was traditionally known as Christmas by governmental authorities worldwide in 2020, including other cultural festivities due to the worldwide pandemic, I’m not so sure anymore.

As a Canadian counselling Calgary NW Alberta, it made me start to think that beyond the traditional North American festivities were so used to celebrating, alongside the many other wonderful cultural festivities and events that happen throughout the year; Just how do we move forward? It looks like, at this time of writing we can finally be together with family and friends after a much overdue wait to seasonally celebrate. However, I think it’s important to not forget there have been many changes, good or bad, that have affected everyone we know and love (including ourselves).

The current reality is indicating that what should be a time of celebration and good cheer could in fact end up being a much-heated family debate tearing families and friends further apart. Not to mention any prior family/friend challenges that were already simmering prior to regular get togethers. This simply must not happen if we are that serious about caring for one another and finding a place of relational healing and repair in what could already be multiple fractured family units…It just seems that saying Happy New Year or Happy Holidays just isn’t cutting it anymore.

So, how do we improve this season, or other future seasons with the ongoing dark shadow known as the UNKNOWN, with of course the exception of the certainty of death and taxes.

Here are 5 suggestions to improve our seasons’ greetings and get togethers’ with one another:

1. Say It and Mean It: Let’s be extra cautious this holiday season to not just flippantly say something out of habit or cultural norm. If you’re going to say Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays (not to discount the other holiday seasons this time of year), then intentionally mean it and take ownership of it. Hurt people looking for hope this season can often tell genuine from casual statements that can be interpreted as “I don’t really care about you; I’m just being nice to you” attitudes.

2. Be Aware of Others Isolation: Many individuals we all know and love have been in home office environments (possibly including yourself) that has unintendedly created areas of unhealthy isolation in our lives. What this means is you wake up, eat, work, eat again, work, eat more, watch television and then go to bed only to do it all over again the next day. Talk about a really bad remake of the movie Groundhogs Day. This kind of ongoing isolation means there will be those this year that have not socialized with real live people in quite a long time (and let’s face it, Zoom doesn’t count anymore). Let’s be mindful of those who are not used to being with groups of people and allow everyone to gently ease back into social/family gatherings.

3. Look for Common Ground: Let’s face it. There is still much disagreement going on with issues such as to vaccinate or not. Stay away from these topics as they only take away from what may already be a fractured relationship from even before these issues were even issues. Instead, let’s focus on finding common ground that we can all agree on and build healthy relationships from. It’s not like either “side” is going to convince either side anytime soon. It becomes a display of terrible relation and communication skills and it’s no wonder our society is behaving like it’s going through separation and divorce.

4. Remember to Give: Giving is so good for the soul and it doesn’t need to be finances. It could be your valuable time and energy to give back to someone more in need or it could be simply helping someone out and going a little bit more out of your way. However, you decide to ‘give’ this season, know that when we give with a ‘cheerful heart’ there is medical evidence that suggests a chemical called oxytocin is released and has proven to combat both negative and toxic stress and we just simply feel good.

4. Spend Meaningful Time with Family and Friends: If the year back in 2020 showed us anything; it was that even after years of firmly established holiday events and activities; All activities and social gatherings can all be canceled and not allowed to occur (including being asked to not seeing our very own moms and dads). Now, I don’t write this to upset anyone. I write this to say whether or not it’s a holiday season or some other important time in our life such as a birthday or graduation or just a friendly get together; it’s very important when meeting with family and friends to make the most of the current get-together and treasure and fully embrace every moment and allow time to stand still.

It’s too easy to take for granted what we have had or what we currently have. Instead, this holiday season let’s be more mindful of what our world, country, province, city, family and friends as a whole have been navigating through. Not to mention the constant challenges of fear and isolation that continue to bombard our ears and eyes.

Let’s make a conscious choice to intentionally choose to have a healthy shift in our seasonal greetings and get-togethers’ and make every single moment count.